An open letter to new youth pastors: Tips for starting out in youth ministry

My first day on the job as a full-time youth pastor, I remember sitting at my new desk thinking “What am I supposed to do now?”

I had already served in the role part-time—but in that context, I was mostly at church when the students were there. I didn’t have an office and I certainly didn’t have “office hours.” Then my church bravely made me full-time because the youth group was growing fast.

So, when I showed up to my office for the first time, I sat in my desk chair staring at a desktop computer (don’t judge…it was in the late ‘90s), thinking “I’m not sure what to do next.”

Have you been there?

Maybe you’re a brand-new youth leader staring at your laptop at a coffee shop, asking the same question. Or maybe you’re a youth ministry intern, wondering whether youth ministry is where God’s calling you. Whatever your situation, the uncertainty around your next steps can be pretty stressful. I hope you’ll believe me when I say, you’ve got this.

An open letter to youth leaders who are just getting started

If I could go back and talk to my former self who was anxiously wondering how to begin, I would have a lot to say. But all of the experience I’ve gleaned in the years since is rooted in five core messages I think every starting-out youth leader needs to hear.

Whether you have a strong network of support or are breaking new ground on your own, get yourself off to a good start by remembering these five things:

You are called and gifted for ministry.

You may be just getting started, but have confidence that God has called and gifted you for this moment. Trust your instincts and lean into your gifts—but recognize where you need help. Seek guidance from friends and mentors, and never stop learning.

More than anything, trust that God has equipped you and will continue to form you for all that is to come. The life of faith is an everyday “yes” to Jesus—so keep saying “yes” and be brave.

Always listen with empathy.

Young people are dealing with lots of stuff. Instead of assuming you know what they’re going through, spend time listening with as much empathy as you can muster. Swallow whatever advice you’re tempted to give in the moment and be sure to make young people feel seen and heard first.

Your young people are hungering for God’s goodness and love, and they need you to point them to Jesus. Always advocate for them and make sure they know how much you care. Make them feel like they belong, and desire the very best for them. Encourage them to see themselves as God sees them, and help them to discover their purpose in life.

Build a team around you.

Youth ministry isn’t for Lone Rangers. You can’t be all things to all people, so surround yourself with good people who can help.

Instead of simply recruiting “chaperones,” be on the lookout for adult leaders who are trustworthy and willing to relationally connect with teenagers. There are adults in your church who are seeking a purpose in life. Invite them to invest in the lives of your students and train them to listen with empathy. Then, keep on encouraging and loving them.

Partner with parents.

Parents are desperate to know that you are for them. They’re looking for partners who will help their kids learn more about Jesus. Be their partner, and let them know you want the same outcome for their children: a life that lives out Jesus’ goodness every day.

Become friends with the parents in your church. Share with them what you’re learning about this generation, and help them know they’re not alone. Remind them that they are their kids’ biggest spiritual influence. Big their biggest cheerleader, and they will return the gesture.

Love the Church.

The people in your church want to see young people love and serve God. Intergenerational relationships benefit everyone in the church, so look for ways older adults can connect with your young people. Likewise, find ways for young people to become a part of the whole church—not just the youth ministry. Connect their gifts and talents with opportunities to serve. The church needs them and they need the church.

Youth leader, get ready for a journey unlike any other

I wish I’d known when I was 25 what I know now about youth ministry. But growth doesn’t work that way. God has been faithful, and has used all of my mistakes and successes to deepen my love for young people and the Church.

God will use you, too. Hang on for a wild ride—but know that God has you. When things get hard, trust that Jesus has you in the right place. This thing we call youth ministry is worth it!

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