How to support a new youth pastor in their first 90 days

The first 90 days for any new youth pastor or leader carry more weight than churches often realize. Students are intrigued, parents are hopeful, pastors are relieved, and search committees are done. In some churches, the new youth leader arrives and is launched with thoughtful planning and support. In others, they are left to fly on their own.

I’ve seen it happen both ways.

I’ve seen new youth leaders introduced to a congregation with joy, prayed over by elders, and ushered into staff meetings where their voice was welcomed from the start. And I’ve seen others handed a clipboard (do people still use those?), an old curriculum, a 10-year-old computer, and a quiet, unspoken message: “You’re on your own.”

The difference between these two approaches isn’t budgets, denominations, or even how many students show up. It comes down to leadership—specifically, the kind of leadership that’s willing to see people as people, not just program directors (or even worse, resources).

3 keys to setting your new youth pastor or leader up for success

If you are hiring or supervising a new youth pastor, director, or leader, the effort you make to develop trust, communicate expectations, and build support in their first 90 days is crucial to their wellbeing and longevity in the role.

Building relational trust

At the Fuller Youth Institute, our research tells us that the way young people grow in faith is shaped by adult disciples who build trust and model growth with teenagers and parents. So it stands to reason that the way senior pastors, lead pastors, and elders support youth leaders—especially in the beginning—shapes whether those leaders will have the capacity to become rooted, resilient guides for the long haul. In other words, if you want your youth leader to be a faithful shepherd to your young people, start by shepherding them.

Imagine what it might look like if we, as supervisors, senior pastors, and ministry directors, treated the first 90 days like a shared journey—a time not simply to assign tasks, but to nurture trust. Not just to implement a new curriculum, but to build relational safety.

That journey begins with a posture shift. What if we treated our new youth leader not as someone to bring up to speed, but someone we get to learn with at the speed of trust? Someone whose perspective adds richness to our team, whose unique gifts and calling deserve room to breathe?

Trust begins when we slow down long enough to listen. In the first few weeks, that might mean setting regular check-ins focused on asking questions and learn rather than giving directives. Here are a few questions that may spark some good conversation:

• What are you noticing about the (health, communication, connection, etc.) of our team?
• What has grabbed your attention since arriving?
• Where do you feel unclear?
• Does your experience match what we told you in your interviews?

This isn’t just onboarding trivia; these questions are invitations into ownership. When you ask a new leader what success looks like to them, you’re not just managing, you’re providing space for them to help shape the direction of the ministry. Young leaders need this space to ask, question, try new things, and recover from missteps without shame. People support what they help create.

Communicating clear expectations

Ambiguity is one of the fastest routes to chaos and ministry burnout. So, it’s important to set expectations early and consistently. This creates relational safety—one of the most important things you can do to impact your team dynamics.

At FYI, we listened to more than 1,100 youth ministry leaders through surveys and in-depth interviews to discover the top practices youth leaders recommend to prevent burnout and promote their wellbeing. Our research revealed that job description additions (or “expectation-bloat”) were one of the top reasons youth leaders considered leaving ministry in the past year.

When it comes to communicating expectations, it’s important to ensure our actions align with our words. For years now, I’ve made sure the people I’ve managed hear me say this: “I promise to care more about you and your family than what you do for me or this church.” But as supervisors, we need to make sure our words extend beyond theory and are put into practice. If we say, “We care about rest,” but then text our youth leaders during their sabbath, what message are we really sending?

Try these three key ways to keep conversation and connection at the forefront when you’re communicating expectations:

1. Make everything discussable. Remember, leadership begins with listening. It gives the team an opportunity to bring up issues, concerns, and contradictions. Creating a safe culture where listening to one another is valued requires leaders to have strong self-awareness.
2. Make everything discussable by engaging in real dialogue. To have a productive conversation, use a clear process, set aside enough time, and give it your full attention. Approach dialogue with humility by looking inward, interpreting your negativity, and gauging your stress. Doing so helps everyone get better aligned and fosters trust across the team.
3. Conclude dialogue with clear decisions. That doesn’t mean that everyone will be happy with the decision, but the decision should honestly take into account the points of view shared. Even the decision may be discussable. In this way, conversation and connection become the expectation—not conflict and chaos.

Creating rhythms of support

Here’s a truth we sometimes forget in leadership roles: your presence matters just as much as your strategy. A youth leader will forget the many meetings you’ve had, but will remember you bringing them coffee after their first overnight retreat. They’ll notice if you show up for their first and forty-first youth night (so will students and parents). They’ll internalize whether you ask about their soul, not their Sunday numbers.

The good news? You don’t have to be perfect, just consistent.

Be strategic and imaginative about how you create rhythms of support. Once-a-week staff meetings aren’t imaginative. You’ve spent resources on searching for and finding this new leader, so spend some time launching them well, too. 

Keep your search team together for ninety days after the new leader arrives. Invite them to host dinners for the new leader, check in on them, celebrate small wins, and create opportunities for reflection. And when something goes sideways (and it will), help that search team lead with curiosity rather than criticism. Ask what your new ministry lead has learned, what they’d do differently, and what support would help them navigate the future.

Launch your new youth leader into ministry longevity 

One of the most faithful things we can do for the long-term health of our churches is to launch new leaders into environments where grace flows freely, rest is protected, and their voice is taken seriously from day one.

Because here’s what often gets overlooked in the flurry of programs and planning: when your youth leader feels safe, they’re more likely to create safety for the students they serve. When they experience empathy, they’re more likely to lead with compassion. And when they’re given the gift of a strong start, they’re far more likely to stick around to see the fruit of what God is doing.

Healthier youth leaders = healthier youth ministries

The FYI Report on Youth Leader Burnout & Wellbeing offers fresh perspective on common contributors to burnout among youth leaders, partnered with practical recommendations to prevent burnout and promote their wellbeing. Download the FREE report today, and together let’s turn the tide on youth leader burnout.

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