The 10 commandments of starting a new youth ministry job well

If you’ve ever burned a marshmallow over a fire, you know how fast those things can go from sweet to crispy.

New ministry jobs or roles can often take a quick turn, too.

One moment, you’re living into your identity, belonging, and purpose. You're full of vision, energy, and excitement. Next thing you know, you’re alone, you're overwhelmed, overcommitted, and wondering if it’s normal to cry in your car between a parent meeting and Costco snack run. (Spoiler alert: It is.)

Starting well in ministry doesn’t mean having every answer or launching ten new programs. It means cultivating rhythms that help you protect your relationship with the Lord and connect deeply with the people you serve. It also means addressing the primary factors our Youth Leader Burnout and Wellbeing research found contribute to burnout: workload, lack of appreciation, and lack of impact.

10 ways to start strong so you can avoid youth ministry burnout

In the spirit of wise beginnings and fire-safe snacks, here are 10 commandments to help you start strong and stay sane:

1. Thou shalt remember who (and whose) you are.

Jesus called you into a relationship with God before he called you to ministry. Thus, your relationship with the living God must always be first and foremost. Putting ministry (or job, relationship, hobby, etc.) before this isn’t the way we are designed. As Brennan Manning reminds us in The Wisdom of Tenderness, “Letting ourselves be loved by God is more important than loving God.”

2. Thou shalt not try to be the last youth pastor.

Maybe the last person in your role was really good, and people liked them. Or maybe they were controversial. Or both. Whatever their legacy, you weren’t hired to be them. You’re called to be you. Take time to learn the culture, ask questions, and understand what students and families value, but don’t feel pressure to do what they did. That will only become a golden calf. Focus on the gifts, skills, and vision God is giving you (See #1).

3. Though shalt do, there is no try.

Live out your faith. Period, full stop. In ministry, there will always be temptation to allow the job to substitute for your relationship with God. That’s like saying you’re a Christian and not acting like one. You know, like saying you follow Jesus but not loving your neighbor (or enemy). It’s a bit vain, don’t you think?

4. Thou shalt rest like it’s in your job description.

Because it is. Sabbath is not a luxury—it’s a lifeline. Our Youth Leader Burnout and Wellbeing research confirms that leaders who sustain long-term ministry prioritize rhythms of spiritual renewal, rest, and emotional health. Working less is necessary, but only 23% of youth leaders do it. Take your day off. Put your phone in time-out. Let silence be sacred again.

5. Thou shalt partner with parents early.

Sticky Faith research shows how essential intergenerational support is for young people’s faith formation. Parents aren’t obstacles—they’re your allies. Meet them. Cheer for them. Invite their input. Build trust now, because they are your greatest allies and support in discipling young people.

6. Thou shalt not steal hours from thy family.

Youth ministry is never a 9-to-5 gig, but if your evenings and weekends are always booked, your people will get your leftovers. That’s not sustainable—trust me, I know. Talk about rhythms with your family or close friends. Plan recovery time after big events. Your home life is part of your ministry.

7. Thou shalt find your people. 

Loneliness is one of the sneakiest threats to your soul and a serious threat to your ministry. Find your community, whether it’s in the church or beyond. Join a cohort of ministry leaders like you or seek out spiritual direction or a therapist. You need a few safe people to ask: “Is this normal?” and “Can I cry here?” And never forget: the Holy Spirit is already at work in your ministry. You are not alone.

8. Honor thy volunteers.

Your volunteers are not just helpers—they’re co-leaders in the Great Commission, making disciples alongside you. Learn their names. Remember their kids’ sports schedules. Text them encouragement. Show up with coffee, or cookies, or both. The little things go a long way toward building long-term trust and community vitality.

9. Thou shalt observe before you overhaul.

Leadership begins with listening! Though you might see a hundred things you want to change, pause and observe the ministry cycle for a few months. Ask why certain events or habits exist. Find out what drives certain people to lean into their ministries. Then discern what needs gentle pruning or radical revision. Lead forward with questions, not assumptions, and a process so you're not alone.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Instagram ministry.

It’s tempting to scroll through someone else’s highlight reel and think, “Should I be doing more?” Don’t let comparison distract you from being present. Social media can inspire, but it can also distort. Measure what matters and be faithful to the students right in front of you. Your authenticity is what they need most, and it is the Lord who will increase your impact and sustain growth.

Starting well is about sustainability

You do not want to flame out like a burnt marshmallow. A new logo, fresh kicks, or record-breaking attendance isn’t going to sustain you in the long run. What you need is faithfulness to the process of being a disciple. Lean into your identity, belonging, and purpose: your identity as a beloved child of God, in healthy relationship, and in using your gifts and skills.

You’re in this for the long haul—not just the first day.

So, breathe. Pray. Show up. Be faithful.

Allow God to have access to you, and the fruit will come.

Healthier youth leaders = healthier youth ministries

The FYI Report on Youth Leader Burnout & Wellbeing offers fresh perspective on common contributors to burnout among youth leaders, partnered with practical recommendations to prevent burnout and promote their wellbeing. Download the FREE report today, and together let’s turn the tide on youth leader burnout.

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