You lose

Brad M. Griffin Image Brad M. Griffin | Apr 18, 2014

Photo by Χρυσοβαλάντης Κωνσταντίνος Παπαδόπουλος.

It’s Good Friday again.

Once a year we reserve a week to reflect on Jesus’ suffering and death as well as our own suffering and, eventually, death. It culminates in this day, Good Friday. A day about losing.

Sometimes Christians reference today with words like “victory” and “triumph,” and use descriptors for Jesus like “champion.” But this is the day we remember that Jesus lost everything. Everything. He became the lamb who was led to the slaughter. It’s unthinkable.

Christians talk a lot about how God will never give up on us, but here we find Jesus reciting Psalm 22, “Why have you forsaken me?” That’s a hard one. We’ve heard the story of Jesus’ death so many times that we don’t always let ourselves feel the pain and absurdity of it.

The night before in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46), Jesus had desperately prayed to God, asking God to make a different way than for Jesus to be crucified, but God had not given him another way than to lose his life.

Of course, Jesus invites us to come with him toward resurrection. But as Jesus learned in the garden, there is no way to get to resurrection without going through crucifixion. There is no way to new life other than through giving up, surrendering, and finally losing.

This gives us a better understanding of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 16:24, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Apparently losing is a central part of following Jesus.

In the garden, Jesus prayed to God, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

And that’s it, really. God’s will was that Jesus would lose everything. And Jesus was willing to be obedient to that plan. It’s worth noticing, grieving, lamenting the darkness of a world that would shut Jesus out. And as we do, we hear the invitation echo in our own ears. Jesus’ “Follow me” isn’t about winning.

This is about loss.

Stay here with me for a while. Don’t rush to Sunday.

Today, you lose.


Not as I will, but as you will.

Adapted from the free curriculum Sticky Faith Every Day: 8 Weeks of Noticing God More. Here’s a free download of the youth group sessions and daily student guide, including the session centered on “Losing” and Good Friday.

Brad M. Griffin Image
Brad M. Griffin

Brad M. Griffin is the Senior Director of Content for the Fuller Youth Institute, where he develops research-based training for youth workers and parents. A speaker, writer, and volunteer youth pastor, Brad is the coauthor of over a dozen books, including 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager, Faith in an Anxious World, Growing Young, several Sticky Faith books, Every Parent’s Guide to Navigating Our Digital World, and Can I Ask That? Brad and his family live in Southern California, where he serves as Pastor of Youth and Family Ministries at Mountainside Communion.

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