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Research has been documenting a drop in the age of the onset of puberty, in particular for girls. We’ve pointed to some of this here and here over the past year if you’re interested in some of the specifics.
But beyond the general drop, there’s also the phenomenon of “precocious puberty.” Precocious puberty (also known as premature puberty) is the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics before age 8 or the onset of menarche before age 9. What this often means is that that body is maturing far ahead of the emotional and intellectual changes that accompany adolescence. Precocious puberty has been linked with a number of health and behavioral risks.
Last weekend at the Association of Youth Ministry Educators conference, Fuller Doctor of Ministry grad Steven Bonner shared a research presentation looking at the causes of precocious puberty. Much of the publicized research has focused on genetic factors, ethnicity, pediatric obesity, environmental toxins (leading to hormonal imbalance), psychosocial stress, poverty, and exposure to sexualized society.
What’s interesting is that a number of recent studies have also pointed to familial and other ecological (or social/relational environment) factors. In particular, family stress, parental divorce, and frequent marital conflict have all been linked to the early onset of puberty. Recent studies have linked early puberty to “father absence” independent of weight, ethnicity, and income (factors that tend to predict precocious puberty). Other studies have found the opposite effect also holds: lower levels of ecological stress and higher levels of parental support actually predict later pubertal development of males and females.
What does this mean for our families and ministries? At the least it means some of our conversations about body changes and sexual maturation might need to start happening earlier if parents are going to be the first source of information for kids. Children’s ministries may need to begin thinking about the early onset of puberty and its implications for the ways they address the needs of kids who might begin to experience this. And as we look at the family dynamics around us, it’s important to be aware that high conflict, divorce, and absent fathers can all contribute to the likelihood of early puberty.
Earlier this year the National Center for Health Statistics reported a drop in teen sex. In that study over half of 15-17 year-olds (53% of males and 58% of females) report never having had a sexual encounter with another person.
The Centers for Disease Control recently reported news along similar lines: less than half of youth ages 15-19 (42% of unmarried males and 43% of unmarried females) report having had intercourse. That’s all the way to age 19, post-high-school for most.
If you were going to make a guess based on the prevailing cultural stereotypes of teenagers, these statistics might seem astounding. But it turns out the percentage of “sexually-experienced” male and female teenagers has been declining since 1998, after a steady rate of increase beginning around 1971.
Also interesting, the 2006–2010 CDC data “show clear patterns of sexual experience among teenagers by family and parental characteristics. For both male and female teenagers, a significantly smaller percentage were sexually experienced if:
- they lived with both parents when they were aged 14
- their mothers had their first birth at age 20 or over
- the teenager’s mother was a college graduate
- the teenager lived with both of her/his parents [at the time of the survey].”
Looking at that another way, the absence of any of these factors was linked with higher likelihood of sexual encounters. Looking around you, how many of the teenagers you know fall into one or more of those categories? How many don’t? Statistically speaking, adding up these risk factors increases risk of sexual activity.
On the flip side, why are some teens choosing not to have sexual encounters? The CDC report shares reported reasons from respondents. “Against religion or morals” was (and has been) the top reason reported for waiting (for over 1/3 of those who abstained from 2006-2010). It seems faith hasn’t completely dropped off the map in teenage sexual decision-making.
Despite the statistical drops we’re seeing, the prevalence of promiscuous sex is still high among adolescents—higher than most of us would like to see. Being aware of the numbers is just part of the picture. What attitudes are you seeing among adolescents you know when it comes to sex? How, if at all, are they changing?
There’s a theme in some of the brain research that we’re hearing about at FYI: it’s possible for teenagers’ brains to become more sharp or to atrophy. Or as this recent study (with an admittedly small sample) suggests, it’s possible for teenagers’ IQ to increase or decrease.
As a parent and youth leader, I’m so encouraged by what this study suggests. Previous brain research has made it seem that most all of brain development ends at about age 6. If you weren’t reading and/or stretching your kids’ thinking between birth and Kindergarten, it was too late.
If there was a club for “Parents Who Read As Much As They Could Do Their Young Kids But Wish They Could Have Done More,” my husband and I would easily become members. So this theme in recent neurological research means we all still have time.
Time. While this study doesn’t cite the causes of IQ development, I’m guessing that children and teenagers often become more critical thinkers when adults take the time to talk with them, listen to them, ask them questions. And then repeat the cycle: talk with them, listen to them, ask them questions.
What can you do in the next few days to try to go deeper in conversation with a child or teenager?
Many of the questions we at the Fuller Youth Institute receive most frequently swirl around technology. Both leaders and parents are wondering how to help children and teenagers navigate technology.
Even though my husband and I are pretty cautious on our own kids’ exposure to technology, we are astounded by how much they are exposed to, and how they gravitate toward it. Every parent needs to think through their philosophy (not to mention theology) about their family’s use of technology.
And we need to talk with our kids about it.
That’s why I was so grateful when through HomeWord, I learned about this conversation starter guide for parents of kids of all ages. You can click on different developmentally appropriate questions that make sense for you to discuss with your preschooler or teenager (or any child in between).
I’ll admit these discussion questions aren’t exhaustive, and they aren’t the deepest questions I can think of, but they can help get the discussion ball rolling for families. If you have other ideas to help parents and kids talk about technology use, please send them our way!
Today’s our middle child’s ninth birthday, so in honor of Krista, I decided to blog a bit about girls, especially given some new research released by the Girl Scout Research Institute about the influence of Reality TV on preteen and teenage girls.
I need to confess that the methodology of this study isn’t altogether clear to me, so please take this blog with a grain of salt. But here’s a summary of some of the negative consequences of reality TV on girls:
As reality TV has become staple entertainment for young people and adults alike, tween and teen girls who regularly view reality TV accept and expect a higher level of drama, aggression, and bullying in their own lives, and measure their worth primarily by their physical appearance…
That’s not all that surprising, right?
But here’s something that is a bit surprising. Reality TV can have some positive effects also, according to this study:
Girls surveyed who regularly view reality TV are more self-assured than non-viewers when it comes to an overwhelming majority of personal characteristics, with the majority considering themselves mature, a good influence, smart, funny, and outgoing. They are more likely than non-viewers to both aspire to leadership (46 percent vs. 27 percent) and to think they are currently seen as a leader (75 percent vs. 63 percent). In addition, they are more likely to see themselves as role models for other girls (75 percent vs. 61 percent).
I think a MAJOR factor in whether reality TV is a burden or blessing for girls has to do with WHICH Reality TV shows are involved. In our family, we just started watching “Amazing Race” together. Why? Because I saw a few minutes of it once in a hotel room and thought to myself, “There are some good character lessons in here.” In the first few episodes of the show, the challenges the contestants face have been a good catalyst for conversation on topics like the importance of perseverance, and paying attention, and being kind to others even when you’re frustrated. In fact, as we start watching the TV show, I have told the kids that I want them to keep an eye out for things they can learn about life and relationships. (Granted, our kids are young enough that it’s easy to frame TV shows that way; that is WAY less likely to work as our kids get older.)
Whether your kids are elementary school aged or teenagers, what TV shows have been positive catalysts for conversations in your family?
Like you, I have read a BUNCH about Steve Jobs in the past few weeks. One of the posts that hit home the most for me was a blog by Adam McLane from the Youth Cartel.
What I appreciate about this blog is that it asks us what we would do if we knew we only had a few weeks to live. What would we prioritize? How much would we focus on work v. family?
If I could change on thing about the way I work, it would be to be less driven with e-mail. I am a bit compulsive about e-mail. I try to keep my Inbox as empty as possible, which means I try to respond to e-mails as quickly as possible. Just ask the FYI team 
Recently I’ve been thinking about the folks I’m e-mailing. Many of them are dear friends and colleagues. Others, probably the majority, are folks that I probably won’t even know in 10 years. And yet I sometimes make responding to their e-mails a higher priority than reading to my five year-old, or throwing a football with my 11 year-old. I KNOW that I will know my kids ten years from now, and for decades beyond that.
If I knew I only had a few weeks to live, I’m pretty sure I would pick up that football or that Magic School Bus book. Maybe that’s the way I should be living right now.
An article about parents recently caught my attention. The title was “What teachers really want to tell parents,” and while focused on the educational setting it got me thinking about youth ministry.
Apparently more and more teachers are leaving education because of “issues with parents.” Everything from meddling with grades to making excuses for late work, teachers are coming to expect over-involved parents as the norm. As the article closes:
We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask — and beg of you — to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.
This is an interesting position for teachers to find themselves in. A posture of defense. Walking on eggshells about everything from discipline to grades, and fearing or resenting parents who walk in the door rather than welcoming them as partners in child and adolescent development.
It made me wonder: How many youth pastors would make the same plea to parents? How often are parents seen as problems to be avoided? On the flip side, how many ministries see parents as “the solution” to youth discipleship, laying the heavy burden of sole responsibility for their kids’ faith back on parental shoulders? How many youth workers leave—or feel like they want to leave—ministry because they can’t work with parents?
I don’t know the answer to those questions, but I know youth workers are often baffled when it comes to how to engage parents in the faith development of their kids. In truth, perhaps parents are neither the problem nor the solution. Perhaps we can shift our approach altogether and embrace and partner with parents rather than see them instrumentally as either problems or solutions.
What ideas do you have for fostering a healthier perspective on parents as ministry partners? What thoughts do you have about avoiding the defensive posture when it comes to parents?
When you were five years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?
What about when you were 18?
Last week I had the opportunity to spend some time with a group of high school students who were discerning their calling. Asbury University, my alma mater, hosted this conference for students sensing a call to vocational ministry. It was exciting to be with these high school juniors and seniors as they explore what it might mean to be “called” into ministry, but also to challenge and encourage them that we are all called out by God, whether that calling involves a ministry “job” or not.
One of the things we explored was how God sometimes only gives us limited vision into the ways our calling will be fleshed out along the journey. When I was five, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I loved animals, lived on a farm, and was convinced that my future involved taking care of animals. As it turns out, in my adult life I haven’t even had any pets until two months ago (we finally let our kids get a few fish)! This is just one of the quirky turns in my own discernment of calling and career; you probably have some of your own.
I like Parker Palmer’s description of vocation as “something I can’t not do, for reasons I’m unable to explain to anyone else and don’t fully understand myself.” Vocation is being called; which assumes that we are listening for something. To be more clear, that we are listening for someone. For the voice of God speaking into and through our lives.
In Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
, Palmer goes on to note that on the flip side of listening, attempting to chase after vocation can be dangerous: “Willful pursuit of vocation is an act of violence against ourselves…Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening.” It’s very much like getting to know a friend or a spouse…or God. We can’t manipulate the relationship without hurting ourselves and the other person. True knowing involves a lot of listening and receiving.
As you think about the ways you lead young people to understand vocation, I’m wondering:
- How do you help students discern their calling? What do you find helpful in guiding this process?
- How do you help them learn the differences between general calling (the things we’re all called to do—love God and neighbor—and be—God’s beloved children) and specific calling (the ways I am created and gifted to live out my unique contribution to the world)?
- What guidance do you give students about what following God’s calling might entail?
- What advice would you give a youth worker or parent who is trying to help a young person who thinks they are “called to vocational ministry”?
I have loved getting to know Kenda Creasy Dean, a member of the Practical Theology/Youth Ministry faculty at Princeton Seminary this last decade or so. She is smart, wise, authentic, deeply committed to teenagers and seminary students, and she laughs and smiles a lot.
Kenda presented some fantastic material at a Big Room session at the Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention this past weekend in San Diego. One of her themes was that mission is “translation” – we are translators of God’s love and grace to others.
For me, one of the most memorable parts of her talk was this video about training fleas. I had seen it before, but it’s a great reminder of how we condition ourselves and others (including teenagers), and how even when boundaries are removed, our conditioning keeps us from exploring and venturing forth.
What was most interesting to me about this video is how even the fleas’ offspring will not venture beyond the spot where the lid once was. So the conditioning lasts for generations.
All sorts of ways that we condition teenagers come to mind, but let me just focus on one: how we invite them to use their spiritual gifts. Or rather, how we don’t invite them to use their gifts and abilities.
We all know teenagers who have deep passions, skills, and abilities – ranging from computer-savvy students to brilliant musicians to teenagers who are masters at connecting with 6 year-olds. What would it look like for us to encourage those teenagers to jump? To not let the invisible lids that have prevented them from stretching their wings continue to do so?
What would it look like it every teenager in the U.S. somehow used their abilities in a new, helpful way this year? What would that mean for our country?
I’m no flea, but that makes me feel like jumping.
This past weekend’s Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention in San Diego had a lot of highlights for me: fantastic speakers, great seminars, fascinating conversations over meals and in the hotel hallways.
One of the more provocative statements for me was Dr. Robert Epstein’s encouragement at a “Big Room Session” to stop calling teenagers “kids”. As as a scholar, teacher, and the author of Teen 2.0, Dr. Epstein is deeply concerned about how our culture minimizes the competencies and responsibilities for teenagers. He asked the 2,000 leaders gathered in San Diego to come up with a different phrase for teenagers than “kids”. He said something to the effect of (my paraphrase): “Kids are goats before they hit puberty. After goats hit puberty, we don’t call them kids anymore; we call them goats. We need to stop calling humans who have hit puberty the term that is equated with the pre-pubescent form of a goat.”
I’ve been calling teenagers “kids” for a while. Why? Because they told me to.
In the mid-1990s as I was doing youth ministry, I avoided the term “kids”. I thought it was too young of a term for a teenager, so I called them “students”. Then I asked them which term they preferred and they actually wanted me to call them “kids”. They thought “students” sounded too “school-ish”.
So for about 15 years, I’ve been calling young people “kids”.
But Robert Epstein has me wondering. And in the 72 hours since I heard his presentation, I’ve found myself avoiding the term “kids”, and even correcting myself when I use it.
What do you think? What do your students think? I’m going to ask some of the students in our youth ministry about this this week.
These are exactly the sorts of questions we’ll be looking at during the Extended Adolescence Symposium in Atlanta hosted by the Youth Cartel on November 21, 2011. Dr. Epstein will be there, as will Dr. Jeffrey Arnett, the well-known scholar who coined the term “emerging adult”. Together, we’ll be looking at the extension of adolescence, and whether or not it’s inevitable, as well as whether or not it’s helpful or hurtful in our families and churches. I’ll be moderating what is sure to be a provocative discussion (especially given that Dr. Epstein and Dr. Arnett don’t see eye to eye on certain issues) and would love to have you join us. The Symposium is right after the next National Youth Workers Convention so you can do both with only one plane ticket.
Thanks for all you do for kids/young people/teenagers/students!
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