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A study from Stanford University revealed that in 90% of metropolitan areas, income segregation went up during the decade of the 2000’s. This is leading to the elimination of one of the three social classes, as many families are now being classified within a two-tiered society of upper or lower-class. In response, Harvard Sociologist William Wilson writes, “This divide decreases a sense of community.” Essentially, families are feeling segregated from their communities due to income.
The “us” versus “them” mentality is stronger than ever. While this is only a few decades after our country forcefully integrated institutions, it’s happening again. Schools, neighborhoods, and jobs are being culturally segregated due to socioeconomic statuses.
Yet when all else is dividing, there’s one institution that has the potential to push everyone together — the church. The original Greek word for church used in the New Testament, ecclesia, carried the implication of a gathering that “opened the doors for all citizens, regardless of class.” To put it another way, the church is meant to be a family of families.
Don’t forget how naturally ministry unites students, but also how it offers the rare chance to unite families across all kinds of lines.
What does the economic divide look like in your church? In your broader community? What’s being done to connect this economic and social divide in your church for:
-Families?
-Students?
-The communities around you?
I am consistently struck, and surprised, by how stressed teenagers are. It’s a far different world for teenagers today than it was for many of us as we were growing up.
This article about teenagers featuring the important research of William Damon, from the School of Education at Stanford University, has reminded me of a few important dynamics involved in the pervasive stress we all, including our teenagers, feel.
1. It’s adults who set the tone.
As the article proclaims:
Increasingly, the experts who examine these troubling youth trends say it’s the adults, not the youth, who have lost their way. With the best of intentions, adults have undermined the normal, healthy process of youthful exploration, engagement, risk-taking and idealism through overprotective, over-involved parenting, teach-to-the test schools, and a hyper-competitive, commercialized college admissions process. The result is youth who feel pressured to adopt unfulfilling, short-horizon goals and meet ever-greater expectations along a narrowly defined path to success, without due regard to their own inclinations, health or well-being.
2. Students are looking for a sense of purpose.
Once again, to excerpt from the article:
William Damon, Stanford School of Education professor and psychologist, has spent years studying this set of issues and believes that it is a sense of purpose — intrinsic, sustaining and noble — that is missing in the majority of today’s youth, causing many of them to drift and founder. And it is this lack of purpose that should be attracting community attention, and not just its by-product, stress.
“People don’t worry about the right things,” Damon said. “The biggest problem growing up today is not actually stress; it’s meaninglessness.”
Working hard for something they didn’t choose themselves, and don’t believe in, is counterproductive to long-term health and fulfillment. It is simply not sustainable. A purposeful life, by contrast, can unleash tremendous energy, creativity, exhilaration and a deep satisfaction with efforts and accomplishments, according to Damon.
3. We adults can and should engage in more meaningful and helpful ways with teenagers.
If you add up the first two points and are wondering how we as adults can help teenagers experience a greater sense of purpose, Damon has some ideas:
For many youth, their path to purpose is not so obvious or found so early. It may require more time to search and sift. During this process, Damon believes strongly in the value of asking and reflecting on “why” questions. Why do young people go to school? Why has my teacher chosen her profession? Why are there rules against cheating? Why is this activity important in my life? Why is it good to be kind? What am I grateful for, and why? Why is it important to vote? Why am I doing community service? (And if it is to document hours for a college application: Is that a good reason? Is there a better reason?) Why do I want to go to college?
As our friend and Fuller colleague reminds us, the LAST thing teenagers need is an adult-imposed agenda related to engaging in the world around them. But I love how Damon suggests that we help teenagers understand the dreams and callings (which I would suggest are divinely planted) within them. That is our role – not to stress them out but to invite them to look beyond themselves and change the world around them in organic and exciting ways.
I’m not a big fan of gender stereotypes. While there is often a small kernel of accuracy underneath them, I think they can often do more harm than good. So I’m not all that likely to make sweeping statements about boys and girls, or men and women.
Yet I was intrigued by this recent article about young adult males potentially being more likely to experience “failure to launch” (a term popularized by a recent movie with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey).
Here’s a bit of a summary of what some think is happening to our young adult males:
Federal statistics show that young men are, for instance, nearly twice as likely to live at home with their parents than young women their age. They’re also less likely to finish college, or to have a job. The struggling economy has only made things worse.
“We see more failure to launch because there’s less to launch into,” says Joshua Coleman, a psychologist who is the co-chairman of the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit organization that tracks trends in American families.
These days, even young men from families with means who get into good schools — like those who come to this residential program in the mountains northwest of Boulder — are having a hard time getting a foothold.
“They are depressed, anxious, overwhelmed and underprepared,” says Joseph DeNucci, one of the founders of this program, called Insight Intensive at Gold Lake.
He calls it “an epidemic.”
What do you think? Are young men less likely to launch well than young women? If so, why? If not, why not?
Are there unique struggles for boys as they move from adolescence into adulthood? Here’s another quote from the article that asserts there are:
In his book, “Boys Adrift,” Dr. Leonard Sax blames everything from an educational system that he believes is geared more toward girls’ style of learning to video games and online porn that are overtaking the lives of too many boys.
“For many of them, the virtual world has become more enticing than the real world,” says Sax, who’s seeing more young male patients who tell him they prefer online porn to dating women in real life.
We at FYI are becoming bigger and bigger fans of rites of passage – specific traditions that mark the transition from one stage to the next. As Dave and I think about our own 11 year-old son, we’ve enjoyed dreaming about ways we can let him know that he is moving into a more mature stage of life. Whatever rituals we end up pursuing, we will end up involving other adult men because we want him to know that he’s surrounded by other men who are “on his team” and are there for him when he needs them.
What have you done as a parent or leader to help the young adult males around you move intentionally into greater maturity?
If you’ve heard or read much about Sticky Faith, you know that we’re not big fans of the way churches have set up two tables in their ministry philosophy and programs: the adults’ table, and the kids’ table. In churches today, teenagers and adults have separate worship experiences, short-term mission trips, and spiritual lives. In our Sticky Faith research, we’ve seen how important it is to turn the tables and at least have periodic gatherings for folks of all ages. It’s good for teenagers’ faith development, and as a bonus, it’s good for the life of the overall church.
I was tickled last week to see this Harvard Business Review blog post also bemoaning the “Kids’ Table” separation. Not from the perspective of church ministry, but from the perspective of education reform. As the blogger wrote:
What if we put students at the center of the education innovation conversation? Could we get past our suspicion that they would make ignorant or irresponsible suggestions, and tap into what they know better than any of us: what works for them as learners? If we engaged kids in the problems facing schools, and gave them access to design tools, they might imagine a learning experience they would be more likely to engage in and commit to. What if we didn’t stick our youth at the kid’s table?
Maybe, just maybe, the need to integrate teenagers more fully is not just a church issue – it’s a culture issue. What if we kept our eyes open and were catalysts for involving teenagers in developmentally appropriate ways in more facets of our culture? I don’t want to add more pressure to students, but I do want to have their voices developed and heard. I need to hear from them. And I think you do too.
One of our core values at FYI is collaboration. Part of our DNA is collaborating with youth workers, other leaders, research faculty, and parents to better understand adolescents and better resource those who work with them.
Last week one of our collaborative partners, Steve Argue, posted this on the Immerse Journal blog regarding collaboration to help address a youth ministry challenge—how to help faith stick beyond high school:
Beyond their longitudinal research, FYI has done a really smart thing. Instead of drawing conclusions from their research on their own, they invited our church to join a cohort of a dozen churches to wrestle with and challenge their findings with the purpose of thinking through the implications for ministry. In my mind, this is a perfect picture of intersecting research and praxis through the collaboration of researchers and practitioners. This has created well-informed and accessible material that FYI is rolling out for the benefit of students, youth workers and parents.
Read the full post…
Collaboration truly is part of our heartbeat. As you think about your own ministry, what role does collaboration play? Who do you—or could you—collaborate with in order to see even greater ministry impact? Are there groups you’ve been ignoring who could be incredible co-learners or laborers with you, like parents, older adults, coaches, teachers, other local youth pastors, parachurch ministries in your community…the list could go on and on.
FYI Advisory Council and professor of urban mission Jude Tiersma Watson shared this post for Thanksgiving 2009. We’re re-posting it this week because we, too, need the reminder to cultivate hearts of gratitude. Happy Thanksgiving from FYI!
Today I was reading the story of the ten lepers. You know the one — Jesus heals ten lepers and only one, the Samaritan, comes back to express his gratitude. Even after many years of following God and reading this story, it hits me every time. It hits me because I so easily become like the nine lepers, and take so much of life for granted. Yet gratitude takes nothing for granted. Gratitude is one of the neglected spiritual practices in our time.
I remember worshipping in a small gathering of believers in the highlands of Guatemala, and being amazed at the profound gratitude of these believers who, by my standards, had so little in life. But they were overflowing with gratitude.
What would happen if in every youth group in every church in America, we cultivated a heart of gratitude for life? But first it needs to take deeper root in our own lives. So I am pulling out my gratitude journal and ending each evening the next month with my reflections on gratitude, not just for Thanksgiving day but everyday.
This quote by Thomas Merton captures a lot of what I want for my own heart of gratitude.
Gratitude is more than a mental exercise, more than a formula of words. We cannot be satisfied to make a mental note of things which God has done for us and then perfunctorily thank Him for favors received.
To be grateful is to recognize the love of God in everything He has given us — and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is grace, for it brings with us immense graces from Him. Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder, and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference… Gratitude is therefore the heart of the Christian life.
November 22, 2011 |
By FYI |
Today’s guest blogger is Jason Herman, High School Minister at The Hills Church of Christ in Richland Hills, Texas.
The discussion surrounding extended adolescence as it relates to student ministry and the church is relatively new. Students who find themselves exploring the exciting and often difficult world between high school and adulthood have challenged how we minister to emerging adults. While extended adolescence has become pervasive throughout society, models within our communities have not adapted quickly enough (either because they are being ignored or not enough discussion has been had) to meet basic needs of troubled adolescents.
For instance, how do we respond when extended adolescence hits the streets? Having partnered with a local organization that works with at-risk children and teens and their street outreach team, it has become apparent that student ministers and researchers of adolescent culture must champion efforts to assist a rapidly growing demographic of homeless 18-25 year olds. Take Travis for example. I was recently contacted by a school administrator and asked to meet with this 17 year old (soon to be 18) who had worn out his welcome couch surfing, and was about to find himself on the street. Through coordinated efforts with the ministry and the school administrator, we attempted to help Travis decide to check into the emergency youth shelter (available to those up to the age of 17). While at the shelter, Travis could finish school, stay in dorm-like accommodations, receive 3 meals a day, and have access to resources that would help him get on his feet. Sounds like a winning plan right?
Travis decided instead to use the little money he had to get an apartment. In two months he would be Fort Worth’s newest homeless teen and forced to face the harsh reality of life on East Lancaster. Now 18, the only options available are shelters for adults. He became one among the hopeless, the destitute, the drug and alcohol addicted who find themselves wandering in the darkness of despair. That’s what living on the street does; it sucks the life out you. It is not a place for anyone, but especially not for Travis or other emerging adults stumbling to find their place in this world.
And so now I find myself preparing Dustyn (an 18 year old kid from the suburbs and one of my own students) for life on the streets. Countless circumstances have led to his situation, but there has to be a better answer than helping him get a sleeping bag, warm coat, and a scan card so he can sleep at the Presbyterian Night Shelter. With more teens entering this new phase of life and unemployment on the rise (according to the Wall Street Journal double that of those 25+) something must be done.
New shelters and new programs specifically meeting the needs of extended adolescents must be developed. Perhaps student ministers and cultural experts could partner with homeless and other community organizations to meet this great need. I wish we could cut the issue off at the pass by focusing our efforts on preventative measures. But at least for now, we also need to figure out how best to minister to an ever-increasing number of homeless emerging adults.
It’s not often someone tells you in person, “Great comment on Facebook!”
I doubt you got a high-five you for your last “Like” either.
Yet more situations are beginning to start online and continue into the real world. Especially for teens. Recently, a Pew Study came out that revealed 58% of teens said that Facebook has made them closer to others. But there’s also a negative side to this as well; 25% of teens have had a face-to-face confrontation over an issue that began online.
The lines between reality and digital are becoming more and more blurred. For the 93% of teens who have Facebook, it’s a world that they’re left to pioneer themselves. Norms and digital morals are constantly being created, formulated and redefined. No doubt, that 25% will increase with time.
We need to consider that what happens online is a serious reality to teens. Similar to a recreational basketball championship, it might not be that serious to us, but it is to them. We need to know that for better or worse, what’s happening online is physically affecting our students emotions, actions, and lives.
Ever since our Deep Justice work, I have been so much more attuned to the ways that I (and others around me) are so well-intentioned, and yet we make so many assumptions, snap judgments, and false steps in ministry to and with those who are in poverty. That’s why I was especially interested in this Christianity Today review of Bob Lupton’s new book, Wasted Charity.
Confession: I haven’t read the book yet. But I still love the insights shared just in this book review. Here are some particular excerpts from the book/the review.
Our self-centeredness contributes to the problem. We evaluate our giving, Lupton argues, “by the rewards we receive through service, rather than the benefits received by the served.”
Lupton does offer some ideas for improvement. He proposes a new “Oath for Compassionate Service” for the charity industry to adopt, much as the medical community has adopted the Hippocratic Oath. Lupton’s Oath offers six key guidelines: (1) Never do for the poor what they can do for themselves; (2) Limit one-way giving to emergencies; (3) Empower the poor through employment, lending, and investing, using grants sparingly to reinforce achievements; (4) Subordinate self-interest to the needs of those being served; (5) Listen closely to those you seek to help; (6) Above all, do no harm.
The Oath embodies the philosophy of “asset-based community development” (ABCD). This is a glass-half-full strategy that focuses on a community’s strengths more than its needs. It takes seriously the gifts and talents of the poor, and seeks to do ministry in the community with them rather than for them, thus protecting people’s dignity.
For example, Lupton profiles a church that replaced its traditional food pantry with a food co-op. Local residents pay $3 in co-op dues for $30 worth of groceries, andthey buy the food, box it, and distribute it. Another congregation turned its free clothing closet into a revenue-generating thrift store that teaches job skills. Still another transformed its soup kitchen into an entrepreneurial venture for female recipients who had a vision for starting a catering business.
I was talking to some leaders in our Urban Youth Ministry Certificate program this past weekend who are living out the ABCD they learn in our training in their own ministries. They are emphasizing partnerships and reciprocal relationships in new ways, and seeing new fruit.
In what ways is the giving/serving that your family and/or your ministry doing helpful? In what ways might it be helpful? It’s at least time to start asking those questions and prayerfully making adjustments based on the answers that emerge.
Note: If you’re interested in learning more about ABCD and the other emphases of our Urban Youth Ministry Certificate, or to meet the November 30 deadline for our next Urban Youth Ministry cohort, visit our website.
Last week I had the privilege of speaking about Sticky Faith at a convention of the Forum of Bible Agencies in Orlando. It was an incredibly encouraging and convicting time, and a reminder of how important Scripture is in our own growth and development. The team from Reveal at the Willow Creek Association also shared research on how vital engagement in Scripture is for our personal and church growth, which I continue to mull over.
So for the last week, I’ve changed the way I engage in Scripture. I’ve been practicing Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina literally means “divine reading,” and is a way of meditating and reflecting on Scripture that can be used individually or corporately.
Every morning I’ve been doing the following as I slowly read through the book of Acts. (Note: this might not be the “official” way of doing Lectio but it’s working well for me.)
1. I read the text and ask myself: ”What does the text say?”
2. I read the text again and ask myself: ”What does the text say to me?”
3. I pray in ways that align myself with the meaning and the implications of the text.
4. I journal about the text.
This slower, more thoughtful, process of engaging in Scripture this past week has helped the Bible be more than something I somewhat “check off” in the morning. It’s helped me remember, and think about, what I read throughout the day.
I’m not sure how long I’ll be doing this, and I’m wondering: what are some other ways you’ve found helpful in engaging in Scripture, either on your own or with others?
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