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Prev 1 2 3 ...10 11 12 13 14 ...38 39 40 NextWow. I had such a great time at the reunion of youth group kids from the 80′s and 90′s at my old church, San Diego First Assembly of God. I’d guess over 100 people were there (if you count the little kids- and boy, there were a lot of little kids) and probably 50-60 of them were actual youth group members from “back in the day”. A few highlights, in no particular order:
-It felt strange to drive up to the building of the youth center. It was my second home for years and I hadn’t been there in ten years.
-From the slide show, I gathered that I wore a lot of teal and hot pink in the 80s and early 90s. I wasn’t alone in that, but I was one of the leading teal-wearers.
-We females had big hair.
-Kids’ personalities, now that they are adults, by and large have stayed the same.
-Kids remember the conversations we have with them. Time after time, someone came up to me and recounted a conversation I had had with them that was meaningful. Sometimes I didn’t remember the conversation at first, but clearly the youth group kid did.
-Kids need a safe “space”. While we all agreed that the youth group was the people, not the building, several youth group kids still said that they loved having a safe “place” to come to. People are at the heart of that place, but physical location matters also.
-Deep relationships make community unbreakable. By the end of our 3 hours together, I literally felt like I was going to see these people at youth group on Wednesday night. We haven’t seen each other for 15 years (in some cases) but we easily re-connected.
-I am so proud of these former youth group kids. More on that tomorrow…
I am so excited about where I’m going tomorrow. I’m going back to my home church, San Diego First Assembly of God, where I served as one of the youth pastors in the late 80s and throughout the 90s. The “kids” from that era (who are now grown-ups with their own kids) have organized a “Reunion” for us all.
They are cleverly structuring it like how we used to do youth group – reuniting the worship team, the guy who used to do announcements, some crowdbreakers, and then the three youth pastors from that era (including me) will all share for 5-10 minutes each. Plus lots of time before and after for hanging out and catching up. We’ve been doing a lot of that through Facebook but I can’t wait to do it in person.
Relationships are so important and while I haven’t been the best at keeping in touch with old youth group kids, I keep grinning as I think about tomorrow’s reunion. I’m so proud of these students and we have so so so many shared memories. I imagine I’ll have something to share about the reunion in next week’s blog…
Last week, our nine year-old son started talking about American Idol. We don’t watch “A.I.” so I asked how he knew so much about it. He said his friends at school watch it and talk about it. I asked him if he wanted to start watching it. He replied, “Not really, but every once in a while I wish I could talk with my friends about it.” But ever the optimist, my son added, “But I can talk with them about other stuff…like sports” (did I mention he was a nine year-old boy?).
Yesterday, Brad Griffin, one of my fantastic FYI coworkers, passed along some related research conducted in New Zealand about screen time and its effects on peer and parental relationships. I know some parents let their kids watch certain TV shows and play certain video games so that they can talk with their friends about it. According to this research, even taking this into account, kids who have more screen time have lower quality relationships with peers and parents.
I’m not “anti” TV or gaming, but I’m certainly not a big fan of either. A small amount (i.e., a bit of “A.I.” here and there) is fine, but this research is important for leaders and parents to keep in mind.
I was on a panel this past weekend with Chuck Bomar, who leads CollegeLeader.org. Chuck and I have taught together before and I have great respect.
I love what Chuck said in answer to one question about helping students find mentors. Even though he’s been at a large megachurch, he never found a mentoring “program” effective. Instead, he’d simply get to know kids, and get to know adults in the church,and see if he could organically match a kid with an adult based on what he knew was going on in both people’s lives.
Sometimes mentoring programs work but often they feel forced and fizzle because the kids and adults and randomly assigned and it’s not natural. I love Chuck’s more organic approach.
This past weekend I spoke at the Group Simply Youth Ministry Conference about our College Transition Project research. One of the highlights when I speak is interacting with leaders (or parents) who ask good questions and have great ideas.
One youth worker raised his hand to talk about how when his kids come to him for advice, he first encourages them to look in Scripture for their own answers. He does it so consistently that his students now know that before they even come to him, they need to do their own homework and look into Scripture themselves.
One of the themes in our research is that youth group graduates don’t know how to depend on the Lord and are often overly dependent upon their youth worker (the youth worker who is no longer around after graduation). I love how this youth worker is helping kids dive into Scripture themselves.
This past weekend I had a fantastic time at the Group Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Chicago. I learned an eye-opening lesson at a Chicago pizza place (yum yum) on my way to the hotel.
I was eating by myself and couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of the couple sitting at the table next to me. Or rather, lack of conversation. The husband was on his cell phone the entire time they were waiting for their food, and while he had some cute interactions with his young child at the table once the food actually arrived, on the family’s way out of the restaurant, he spoke to his wife in a sharp tone of voice — a more sharp tone of voice than I think my husband has ever used with me.
Two hours later, I was walking through the conference exhibit hall and guess who was one of the exhibitors. Yup, pizza place guy.
I don’t always talk to my children or husband in the tone of voice I wish, so I’m not trying to pass judgment. But I guess I’m extra aware these days that you never know who’s watching. I want to do my best to be the mom, wife, and leader I really want to be both in public and private. And I’m so glad God’s grace covers those times when I fall short (which happens on a regular basis).
It reminds me of the disappointment a high school guy shared with me when he went surfing with his youth pastor and his youth pastor ignored someone who was homeless and begging for money because he was in a hurry to get to the waves. This happened a week after this youth pastor had challenged his students to show kindness to folks who are homeless. The kid wasn’t mad — just disappointed.
It’s hard to be a leader. May God give us grace to be the followers of Jesus He wants us to be. And may we experience God’s grace when we aren’t.
Last week Kara shared about Dr. Scott Cormode’s presentation at our Sticky Faith Learning Cohort summit. One of the parts of Scott’s training I most appreciated was about the inevitability of conflict when we’re trying to produce change. Sometimes we act surprised when conflict pops up or someone presses back against our good idea, but we should know better.
In fact, Scott reminded us that change produces conflict because change always involves loss, which of course is part of why people avoid change. Loss typically triggers a grief process (generally a cycle of denial, anger/blame, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – but not always in that order). The most typical first response we get to a suggested change is denial, and the second most typical response is anger. Which means if we want to introduce change to our contexts, we have to have a thick enough skin to realize that the predictably-ensuing anger is not just about us. In fact, it may not be about us at all. It’s part of the process of loss and grief.
So Scott has memorized this one line to communicate (out loud and in attitude) when trouble arises:
“This conflict will not undo us.”
Perfect. There’s more to it in his version – that our commitments to one another and Christ are stronger than this, and that the issue is serious but doesn’t have to tear us apart. It’s actually all beautiful and really helpful. But I love that line. I’m trying to memorize it myself.
We’ve mentioned before that we had the opportunity to write a chapter for the new book, Halos and Avatars: Playing Video Games With God
, edited by former Fuller faculty member Craig Detweiler. The book is now out, and recently a good review was posted on the Pop Theology blog that gives a helpful synopsis of the chapters. The review concludes with these words: “Halos and Avatars proves to be not only the first text to link theology and video games, but a must read for any teenager or adult, parent, minister, or scholar interested in not only video games but theology and popular culture as well.” (There’s also a skype interview with Detweiler if you’re interested).
We received our copies in the mail this week, and the following quote was really interesting to me so I thought I would pass it on for your own musing:
Gamers are used to dying and rising. Multiple selves and multiple lives are assumed in game construction. Consequently, the theological idea of being born again will seem increasingly mild and mundane to the gamer generation. Rebirth, respawning, and reincarnation are all part of resetting a game…So how should ministers talk about discipleship? What does it mean to ask for forgiveness? To atone for our sins?
Detweiler has some interesting ideas about that, but I’m wondering what you think?
According to a Reuters report this week, there’s been a rise in the purchase of multigenerational homes (meaning more than one generation share the same dwelling) over the past year, with demand for this kind of housing expected to continue to increase.
Based on a survey by Coldwell Banker Real Estate of its agents, the article shares that this shift is more motivated by financial (primary) or health (secondary) reasons than by close family bonds, not surprising in the current economy. Unemployed college graduates are part of this mix, as are aging parents of Baby Boomers.
While close families apparently aren’t the cause of this cultural shift, it’s interesting to think about the ways this phenomenon could contribute to tighter family environments (which inevitably mean both closer and more stressful relationships).
I wonder what the same survey would look like if we asked youth pastors instead of real estate agents? Do you notice this or other trends in your own context? And how do you anticipate it will impact the families in your ministry (and your approach to ministry) as a result?
Yesterday in our middle school ministry, a volunteer leader was finishing a three-week teaching series inviting students to become aware of and engaged in acts of justice.
In particular, yesterday was focused on the issue of global slavery. The anti-slavery Not For Sale Campaign declared yesterday Freedom Sunday, an international day to rally churches “to declare that they are Not For Sale, you are Not For Sale and no one should be For Sale.” Stephanie pointed students to other websites like humantrafficking.org and invisiblechildren.com to help raise their awareness and inspire ideas for advocacy and action.
I always love when leaders open students’ eyes about the realities around them, and living in the L.A. area slavery is certainly more than a far-away issue. I also appreciate when leaders help connect the dots from ideas to concrete action, and yesterday kids left with a number of ideas for how to respond. But what I appreciate even more about Stephanie’s leadership is that she didn’t consider middle school students too naïve, distracted, useless, or powerless to become aware of real injustices and to act in response. She had the courage to begin conversations about justice-oriented lifestyles among students who aren’t too young to get involved in action that leads to the freedom and shalom of others.
And listening to their prayers yesterday, I think some of our students’ perspectives are in fact changing as a result of her courage.
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