Pages:
Prev 1 2 3 ...9 10 11 12 13 ...27 28 29 NextThese days at FYI, and at other places, there’s a lot of talk about “intergenerational worship”. But what exactly do we mean by that term?
I quickly skimmed The Church of All Ages: Generations Worshiping Together
, edited by Howard Vanderwell, this week. The book defines “intergenerational worship” as “worship in which people of every age are understood to be equally important”.
The book cites 3 types of congregations described by Jackson W. Carroll and Wade Clark Roof. First is the “inherited-tradition congregation,” which seeks to conserve its past heritage as a higher priority than adapting to new circumstances.
Second is the “blended congregation” in which the community tries to appeal to all the generations it encompasses.
Third is the “generation-specific congregation” which focuses on one generation.
As youth ministries, we tend to function often like “generation-specific congregation”. And yet more and more of us are longing to experience the “blended congregation” that includes all generations. That’s a tough dance to dance.
What has your church done to help your kids experience community with those who are older and younger than them? We’d love to know. We always curious to hear from you and learn from you.
April Diaz, Next Gen Pastor at Newsong Church in Irvine, is a good friend of mine and also FYI. She’s on our FYI Advisory Council and I am always grateful for her wisdom.
She sent me an e.mail last week about an interview that Leadership Journal conducted of me related to Intergenerational Ministry. She wrote, “I just wanted you to know that I passed out your article to my 2 advisory councils last night (22 key parents). Before our next meeting they are to read it, take notes, and pass off to at least 4 other parents & gather their reflections.”
Brilliant!
The point isn’t that she’s passing out my interview (although I’m honored that she is). The point is that I love how she’s not only passing on resources to parents, but asking them to in turn, having them talk to other parents and pass on resources to others. That’s how change becomes more viral.
In the spirit of sharing lists of good questions this week, here’s a list from yesterday’s new article “Beyond ‘Turn That Thing Off!’ Elevating the Gaming Conversation Between Parents and Kids.” Try some of these with kids you know this week, then help us improve this list. What do you think promotes good conversations between adults (youth workers, mentors, teachers, or parents) and teenagers about gaming? Here’s a start:
- What are your favorite games? What do you like about them?
- What characters do you tend to become? Why do you choose those characters?
- Who do you like to fight against? Why?
- Do you prefer to play against just one competitor or lots? Why do you think that is?
- Do you like to compete with a team or on your own? Why?
- How is video game competition similar to sports competition? How is it different?
- How does gaming make you feel? What different feelings do different games raise in you?
- How do you feel when you win a game? What about when you lose?
- If I asked your parents about the effects of video games on you and your relationships, what would they say?
- What do you wish your parents or other adults realized about video games?
- How would your life be different without video games?
- In what ways do you think gaming impacts your life with God?
Today’s E-Journal on gaming addresses questions we get asked quite a bit by parents and youth workers. We hope you will take a look at the articles and interview related to video games and help us continue to wrestle together toward helpful responses.
One issue that isn’t addressed in the Guys and Gaming article is whether there’s a gaming vs. sports competition at play. Some have argued that video games have largely taken the role of playing outdoors for boys, which may or may not be true (depends on the age, the boy, and the parents). But some have expressed even more concern that video games seem to have taken the place of sports in guys’ lives. Again, this may or may not be true, but here’s one observation via Leonard Sax in Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men
. Sax contends that save the few elite athletes who actually make it into high school sports teams, the majority of teen boys spend hours upon hours each week gaming (13 hours per week on average, according to Sax’s summary of several studies) because they don’t have opportunities to play sports.
By the time most kids get to middle school, the best athletes have already been singled out for stardom. But especially by high school, if you’re not already a proven member of the athletic elite, you have no chance of playing on a team. The superstars are shuttled from school team to club team and then on to the next sport in their multi-athlete portfolio, while the rest of the guys (this is true for girl athletes, too) are left to either sulk in the humiliation of not making the draft…or go home and win at video games. Sure, we could argue that guys with initiative could find a place to play in the neighborhood (and many still do), but there’s at least some truth to the way hyper-competition edges out the average athlete by high school — and sometimes even before middle school.
What have you seen in your own community? What do you think is going on in the gaming/sports dynamic for guys?
Tomorrow we will be releasing our October E-Journal, and with it the next article in the series on “Just Guys”. One of the books I’ve been reading in the course of this research is Michael Gurian’s The Purpose of Boys: Helping Our Sons Find Meaning, Significance, and Direction in Their Lives
.
One of Gurian’s propositions is that boys need to be led to purpose by intentional adults who surround them in the process. Throughout the book he includes helpful lists of questions for parents, mentors, and others invested in developing boys as they journey toward manhood. Below are a few questions pulled from those lists.
- What is the most important thing you did today?
- What will be the most important things you do when you are a man?
- What kind of work do you want to do when you grow up? What interests you the most right now?
- What is the role of a man in today’s world?
- When does a boy become a man?
- What are the ways a man loves his family?
- Who are your heroes? Why?
- What do TV shows tell you about what defines a good man?
- What do your friends say a good man is? Can you ask them?
- What do you need from me right now?
- How do you want to help people? Whom do you want to help this week?
- Whom do you like playing with the most these days? Why?
- Do you have someone in your life you trust enough to talk with about anything bothering you? Would you come to me for help?
- What parts of yourself must you manage better? Who can help you manage these parts of yourself?
- In what ways do you think your community needs your gifts?
- What makes you different from your friends? In what ways are you the same as your friends?
- What gives you the most joy in life?
How about your own mentoring of guys toward purpose? What would you add? Change? Delete?
If you didn’t see the article in last week’s NY Times school issue titled “Coming Out in Middle School,” you should give it a read. Much of the focus is on the bullying and anti-gay language students face as more are openly announcing same-sex attraction in middle school.
As people who love and serve adolescents and their families, we need to pay attention to the bullying, and also to the cultural milieu that middle school students navigate as they process their emerging sexuality. In other words, we need to read articles like this even when we don’t agree with the conclusions.
For more interesting dialogue, check out Irene Cho’s article from earlier this year: “I Think I’m Gay.”
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University recently released its fifth report on the Importance of Family Dinners, compiling yet another set of research on this critical—but too infrequent—practice in our homes. Kara mentioned last year’s report, and this year’s is no less noteworthy.
They’ve coordinated their release effort with a national Family Day today. The point is to push families to eat together as a prevention factor for drug and alcohol use. As the research adds up over time, it continues to point to a common bottom line: more=less. More family dinners shared leads to less risk of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use among teenagers. In fact, kids who share less than 3 family dinners per week are twice as likely to use tobacco or marijuana and 1.5 times more likely to use alcohol.
Here’s a new twist: Those who share 3 or less dinners per week AND say electronic distractions are present at the table (phones, laptops, video games) are 3 times more likely to use tobacco or marijuana and 2.5 times more likely to use alcohol. Further, teens who share 3 or less dinners per week are:
- 1.5 times likelier to say technology is being used at the table.
- 1.5 times likelier to report getting mostly C’s or lower grades in school.
- 2 times as likely to say they expect to use drugs in the future.
- 5 times likelier to say they have a fair or poor (as opposed to excellent) relationship with their mother and 4 times likelier to say the same about their father
The relationship between dinners and substance use among younger teens (12-13 years old) is strongest—a lot of the above stats jump or even double when isolating just the early teen range. In another study, family dinners have been show to reduce likelihood of participation in sexual risk behaviors.
A final twist: Most teens say they want those family dinnertimes to happen. Two thirds said they’d give up a weeknight activity to have dinner with the fam.
Worth chewing on.
Today is the first full day of the Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention here in Los Angeles. I’m especially excited about this conference for two reasons: first, I am only 20 minutes from my house, so I’m going to get to go to my kids’ soccer games tomorrow.
Second, I’m excited about some of the new stuff YS is trying this year, especially Open Source Saturday. Tomorrow they’ve blocked out time for people to generate their own conversations about topics that are meaningful to them instead of sitting and listening to speakers (like me) talk to them.
It might be great.
It might bomb.
But I love YS’ courage in trying something new with a few thousand youth workers.
So many times the “new” things I try are really just slight variations on the “old” stuff I’ve always done. Real courage is when we try things that might fail. May God show us when slight nuances are enough, as well as when it’s time to step out and try something truly new.
September means 3 things for our family: back to school, back to soccer, and my travel schedule heats up.
We have soccer practice three nights a week in our family now. And it takes quite a bit of effort for me and my husband to get home, get dinner on the table, make sure homework is finished, load up our kids for soccer practice, and actually try to connect with our kids in the midst of it all.
Similarly, it probably takes the parents of the students in your ministry quite a bit of effort to bring their kids to church, or to youth group, or to a small group meeting.
Granted, parents should be grateful to you as a youth worker for all you’re doing. But how about if you try thanking your students’ parents for making the effort to involve their kids in your ministry’s events. It might just make their day. And it might just build a stronger relationship between you and the families you serve.
Earlier this year Leadership Journal interviewed Kara on intergenerational ministry and insights from our College Transition Project. That article was made available online this week, so we thought we’d share it with you if you didn’t catch it in print. Click on the image below to read the interview.
Pages:
Prev 1 2 3 ...9 10 11 12 13 ...27 28 29 Next
, a short collection of writings and presentations published after his death. I wasn’t expecting to find a definition of theology in the opening section called…