In our field, who doesn’t? But most of us struggle with knowing what really makes a difference in the lives of teenagers we know and love.
Here’s a little secret. We rarely change any kid’s life on our own. Most often it’s through collaboration with others, partnerships that sometimes come easy, sometimes less so. But chances are you aren’t going to be anyone’s messiah—not even your own children if you have kids. (That’s a good thing, actually.)
One of the most research-backed approaches to how families and communities can boost child and adolescent thriving comes from the Search Institute. Their 40 Developmental Assets are the result of research with over 3 million kids (in and of itself astounding). What’s the big deal? This list is research-proven to be connected to thriving in all aspects of life. And the general rule with assets is, the more the better. Here are some ideas for how you could use this list of assets this summer or in the coming fall:
Share it with volunteers. Ask them to identify ONE way they can be an asset builder in the life of ONE kid over the rest of the summer and make a goal to do it.
Share it with other staff and pastors. Whether they directly work with youth or children’s ministry or not is irrelevant. Every person in every community can be an asset-builder in some way for kids.
Share it with parents. Invite them to note the assets their kids have, and the assets their kids might currently be lacking. Then ask them to brainstorm a list of people and resources that might be able to help nurture assets that aren’t as strong. Partnership is key—not guilt over what they aren’t already doing.
Use it as an inventory when you meet 1-1 with students. How would they rate themselves on the level of each asset in their own life? What ideas do they have for strengthening their weakest areas? How do they provide assets for others who are younger?
We can’t change any kid’s life on our own. But tapping into resources and working together, the summer can be full of opportunities to build assets that help kids thrive.
Is the end of poverty in our age possible? Is it even something we should want or hope for? Can the eradication of extreme poverty—meaning folks who live on less than $1.25 per day—become reality before the renewal of all creation that only God can bring?
Taking on the typical Christian come-back to those kinds of questions, “The poor will always be with you,” Dr. Scott Todd from Compassion International is pushing believers forward to think differently about God’s heart for justice now, not just in the future.
Did Jesus really ordain economic poverty? Do we expect that the poor will always be poor? Are we satisfied with such low expectations for the shalom of broken people and systems in our lifetime? Consider these facts from this 8-minute film:
$5 can save a child from measles through a simple vaccine. The number of kids who die each year from measles has dropped by 78% over the last 8 years.
Similarly, 22 countries have cut their malaria rate in half over the span of 6 years.
Since the 1980s the number of children who die each day from preventable diseases has been cut in half, from 40,000 to just over 20,000.
1.4 billion live in extreme poverty today. That’s a lot. But in 1981, 52% of the world’s population lived in extreme poverty. Today it’s only 26%. If in one generation we cut that percentage in half, imagine what we could do in another 30 years.
In the U.S. alone there are 138 million Christians who attend church regularly, collectively earning $2.5 trillion per year. If this group were a country, we would represent the 7th wealthiest nation on earth. What could be done with those resources to bring an end to extreme poverty?
Todd proposes that if we take on the “true fast” of Isaiah 58 we can take action to bring an end to extreme poverty within a generation. That’s a bold claim.
Watch the video now, maybe read the 19-page strategy, and see what you think. What kind of action might bring truly deep justice for those living in extreme poverty worldwide? How could the teenagers you know—and their families—embrace that kind of radical vision and put it into action?
Catalyst Leadership magazine recently used research by the Barna Group to assign animals to different ways of dealing with conflict.1 Most pastors, they wrote, take the Sloth (avoid at all costs), Skunk (pass the stink on to someone else), Turtle (hide behind spirituality), or Lion (react decisively first, think later) approach when a conflict arises. Rare is the person who confronts conflict confidently while still thinking through the issue both practically and theologically.
If you’re like me, reading through that list of animals hits uncomfortably close to home (especially, paradoxically, the Sloth and Lion – apparently I’m like Simba with a Sid from Ice Age lisp…).
The list of conflicts with both parents and senior leadership in which I’ve employed one of those strategies ranges from the mild (“why don’t we do …[fill in the blank]?”), to the unforeseen (inviting kids to see the latest Harry Potter movie apparently doesn’t fly here) to the discouraging (“the kids aren’t enjoying middle school as much as before you came”). These didn’t always go well and, despite what I’d like to think, the reason for that had more to do with my own ego or insecurity than the utter unreasonableness of the other side. Truth is, I know I could have handled each one better, which is probably part of why they were memorable in the first place.
For a helpful framework for dealing with conflict that doesn’t include turning into an animal, check out my article in this month’s E-Journal.
And what about you? Which cuddly (or not) animal best describes how you handle the conflicts that come your way?
Stone, Charles, “Animal Instincts” in Catalyst Leadership, March/April 2011, p. 10-15, http://christianitytoday.imirus.com/Mpowered/book/vcat11/i3/p2 [↩]
I keep thinking about this blog post from last week’s Harvard Business Review. Good leaders acknowledge that we can’t do everything.
I am continuing to learn this lesson myself here at FYI. What we say “no” to is as important, and maybe even more important, than what we say “yes” to. That way we can invest energy in what is ultimately most important. Plus, I’ve got to say that I am a much better leader, parent, and wife when I have more margin.
As families get more busy, what do we need to cut back on to give families the space they need and also let us focus on what is the most transformative spiritually? One youth leader told me recently that ten years ago, families used to complain that the youth ministry wasn’t offering more. These days, they are more likely to apologize that their kids are so busy that they can’t make it to many events.
One of our mantras at FYI these days is that we want to do more about less, meaning we want to go deeper in fewer areas. What would happen to your life and ministry if you did the same?
I’m a fan of Green Bay. I got to go to the home opener of the Packers in September with my son, a friend, and her son, and we had a blast. I’ve told my friend who got me tickets that the researcher in me can’t help but notice that the year I went to the home opener, the Pack won the Super Bowl. Correlation? Causation? Either way, I’m open to free tickets to any NFL team home openers…
I paid extra attention to this article about underage drinking since it featured Green Bay. Here’s the sentence that stood out to me the most: “Many students said young people drink because of stress, boredom and peer pressure.”
In my era, it was mostly peer pressure. But now stress and boredom are major causes of underage drinking.
As parents and leaders, we have the chance to talk with kids about how to handle their stress, and to come up with ideas of what to do when they are just plain bored. This is important information – information that can and should make a difference in how we talk about alcohol with the kids we care about.
We at FYI love our monthly E-Journal because it’s one of our best opportunities to have a deeper dialogue about research and its implications for teenagers. Today we release our July E-Journal with two great resources. The first helps you and any students who have experienced short-term missions with you this summer connect the dots between the highs of mission trips and the more mundane rhythms of everyday life. The second resource gives you a bunch of super practical tips on how to work through conflict with others, and how conflict can actually bring your ministry or family closer. (We know you don’t have any conflict in your life; we wrote it for the rest of our subscribers.)
So enjoy these resources and forward them to parents or leaders who you think might benefit from them. We keep our E-Journal free to you so that you can share it as broadly as possible.
Here’s an interesting watch: Recently notable authors Tony Jones, Phyllis Tickle and Lauren Winner spoke together at Fuller on a panel. Their topic was “Emerging Spiritualities in the American Church,” and a fascinating dialogue unfolded about spiritual practices among evangelical and mainline Christians in the U.S.
What will teenagers and emerging adults pray when they don’t have youth workers or parents there to tell them what, when, or how to pray?
How will they read and engage scripture when no one from their childhood or adolescence is there to guide them?
We suspect the answers to these questions largely center around the faith practices, or “rhythms”, kids establish in the teenage years, with the help of youth leaders and parents in their lives. Yet, according to our and others’ research, few students graduate from high school with established rhythms in practice.
So thanks to a small grant from a generous foundation, over the next year we’re exploring this research question as a follow up to Sticky Faith: What are the daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonal/annual rhythms that help weave prayer and scripture into the internal fabric of kids’ lives?
Here’s how you can help. What are your responses to that question? How have you seen the good and bad (but especially the good) of spiritual disciplines take root in students’ lives? What practices have you found especially effective in shaping kids for the long haul?
If you’re extra gutsy, ask some of your youth ministry graduates from past years what practices they started in adolescence (or maybe even childhood) that continue to be rhythms in their lives, and what new rhythms have emerged. What do they most remember about rhythms from youth ministry that have stuck with them? Let us know what you hear back!
Our colleague and friend Chap Clark has just released his newest book, Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers. Hurt 2.0 is an extensive revision of the ground-breaking Hurt published in 2004. I just had the chance last week to flip through the newest edition.
Updating and fortifying core insights from his ethnographic study, Chap has pulled from cross-disciplinary quantitative and qualitative research to further explore the core concepts behind Hurt, namely that as a society we have abandoned adolescents systemically and relationally.
In this edition Chap fleshes out the idea that midadolescents (roughly age 14-18) live out of “multiple selves” as they are attempting to develop a cohesive sense of identity in the midst of abandonment. In other words, their identity is usually anything but cohesive as they pull on different personas in varying contexts in which they are forced to operate. This shifting identity is confusing not only to the adults around them, but to kids themselves who cannot fully articulate this shift. Here’s Chap’s description:
Midadolescents are not able to compartmentalize their lives while operating out of a personal sense of self. Society has let go of personal and individual commitment to the young…To survive, a young person must learn how to be a child, a student, an athlete, and a friend, while also continuing the ever-lengthening process of determining who he or she is…[W]hat is new is the lack of ability to construct bridges between one self and another. The inability to see contradictions as contradictions and the ability to easily rationalize seemingly irreconcilable beliefs, attitudes, or values are but two of many markers that may be pointing to an emerging phase of adolescent development and may provide a key indicator of the essence of midadolescence” (Clark, 2).
Chap also adds a chapter exploring kids at the margins, looking at the particular risks associated with affluent youth and those who are particularly vulnerable to the effects of poverty, abuse, or mental disability.
What makes a difference in the face of cultural abandonment? Chap insists:
Youth need refocused, nurturing organizations and programs.
Youth need a stable and secure loving presence.
Youth need to experience authentic, intimate relationships with adults (see Chapter 13).
Youth ministry and the broader church community can provide an incredibly hopeful response to this cultural reality. To paraphrase our friend Steve Argue, we need to respond to systemic abandonment by consistently offering systemic support and presence in kids’ lives.
What signs are you seeing of hopeful response to youth abandonment in your community?
As you may have gathered from previous posts this month, we at FYI have a $50,000 matching grant for new donors that expires on June 30. In the last month, over $7,000 has come in, much of which is from folks who have given online in response to blogs and tweets. Gifts have ranged from $25 to $5000. It’s been AMAZING. Parents, youth leaders, friends and relatives of current donors have all stepped up to the plate and made a huge difference.
Here’s more information about the grant and how you can give in this last week to help raise the final $2,707.
In the last few days I’ve written a host of thank you notes, and am just so full of gratitude. Grateful to God, and grateful to you folks for the way you support us through gifts, prayer, and encouragement.
Thanks for sending us into the summer with so much exciting momentum!
. Hurt 2.0 is an extensive revision of the ground-breaking Hurt published in 2004. I just had the chance last week to flip through the newest edition.
