Don’t Talk Back

A couple random thoughts.
1. I talked back a lot as a kid and as an adult I make a living talking back.

2. As a parent (and I’m just riffing here)  my kids seem to talk back or bristle when they feel an injustice has been done (almost always to them).  It’s a fine line to walk as a parent to encourage them standing up for injustice and for themselves, but similtaneously helping them see the bigger picture, the injustice they have caused, or their impact of their demands on others.

3. A few weeks ago, during a time of especially clumbsy 8th grader inattentiveness my son broke something while working with me in the yard.  It was a boneheaded thing he did. Lack of listening to my instructions on what we were doing. Another broken thing because of another boneheaded move in a short amount of time.  I lost my cool and said something like, “Why aren’t you listening? I told you want to do, but you did something else.” (here comes the worst kind of parenting moment) “you break everything you touch!” I walked away frustrated and came back a few minutes later having cooled off. I asked him to continue helping, and he said, “Why? I’m just going to break it.” But there was somethign in the way he said it. He was obviously hurt and some self preservation sort of standing up to dad happening.”  I apologized for saying what I said, followed by some other things.  Then I said, “I’m glad you stood up for yourself.  You are strong and it’s a good thing for you to speak up when you feel like I’ve done something wrong.”  It was a rough moment and I disappointed him and blew it. In some ways we’re still recovering from moments like that. But him standing his ground and talking back is rooted in both the strength of his character and of his ego. 

As i grow older, I notice that I have a difficult time to this day telling the two apart.

riddle

 She can’t be nine already!!  Thanks for your encouragement along this parenting journey!