Grown Ups on Facebook

September 1, 2010

Kara Powell
Kara Powell

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Recently I saw this Los Angeles Times article on how parents on Facebook are embarrassing their kids by the comments and posts that they make. According to this article, nearly 1/3 of teenagers would like to “unfriend” their parents.

To be honest, I’m a bit surprised it’s not higher.

But it does make me wonder about adult etiquette on teenagers’ Facebook. I tend to be more on the conservative side, not posting very often on kids’ pages and letting kids take initiative in friending me. I know it’s a great way to build relationships with kids, but I want to be sensitive to kids’ boundaries and needs for privacy. I’m 40 and I don’t need anything else that makes me a “weird adult”.

How about you? What is your Facebook etiquette with teenagers – your own or others?

©2010 Fuller Youth Institute

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  • Debbie C.

    They should have probably included adult children in the study too. I know many a person that isn’t a teenager that wishes they could “unfriend” their parents and/or “hides” their parent’s posts because they find them annoying. Doesn’t seem to matter what age you are, your parents can always find a way to embarrass you.

  • Shannon

    Thanks for the reminder. It seems to me that many adults are trying to connect and be friends with teens, but in turn are ending up looking foolish and un-cool. Maybe being their “friend” is an agreement made in order to keep a watchful eye, but getting to the point of posting comments to them or their friends could cross the line.

  • Karin

    I have the same approach as you, Kara – I don’t initiate friendship with teens or kids but usually confirm their friend requests. I think they often may not really think this through and one kid already quietly removed me from her list after a while even though I never posted any comments on her page. One teenager from our church has some crude friends leaving comments so one time he replied, “Dude, that was my pastor’s wife that saw your comment”. As for the adults embarrassing their kids, I haven’t noticed that so much among my circles. I once alerted a man who had posted a video laden with sexual innuendo to the fact that his kids are on his FB list too and that it wouldn’t be appropriate for them to see (and that I myself didn’t like it either); he removed it but later also removed me from his contacts because my political views offended him. So – who are the kids? :) I’m amazed how many adults are playing Farmville, etc. I don’t have time for that but maybe it’s relaxing to them. Geek that I am, I want to use FB for quality connections and staying in touch, maybe even have a deeper discussion now and then.

  • Carol Anderson

    I originally got on facebook because I am a volunteer with both the middle and high school groups at my church. It was necessary because facebook is completely the way the kids communicate with each other. If you want to know what they’re thinking/feeling it’s a wonderful way to stay in touch. No one seems to mind friending me and I “talk” to them regularly on it. Are they conscious of what they put up because of knowing I might see it….? Great!!!

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  • http://www.studentminister.com Rusty

    I have seen teen parents embarrass me. They sometimes are like teens with the lack of wisdom they use when posting status updates and comments.

  • K

    My kids and I struck an agreement long ago that I wouldn’t post anything on their wall or tag a picture of them without asking them first. I ask before I even “like” something. I hold the same policy with their friends. The girls in my small group don’t mind if I post stuff, probably because they don’t see me in the “mom” role.

    One of my daughter’s classmates “unfriended” her because she said she assumed I logged in as my daughter to spy on everyone. My daughter’s an adult now, so I no longer have her password, and I have enough of my own life and don’t need to live mine through my daughter. Being unfriended was painful for my daughter, even though she has lots of other friends and is fine without this one. We had a long discussion about it, but it’s still a sore subject. One more reason for me to lie low.

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