Middle School Ministry

August 11, 2009

Brad M. Griffin
Brad M. Griffin

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I mentioned briefly last month that Kara and I were invited to contribute a chapter to Mark Oestreicher & Scott Rubin’s new book Middle School Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide to Working with Early Adolescents.  The book just released, and in its stead Youth Specialties is hosting “Middle School Week” on the YSblog.

So true confession time: I was a middle school wimp.  Though it’s been over 20 years since middle school, I still remember my deathly fears that I wouldn’t make the cut of guydom or meet the minimum requirements for masculinity in my school: 1. playing a sport well, and 2. landing a girlfriend.  As it turned out, I mostly failed in both categories, leaving me a low-status wimp in the early adolescent pecking order.  These fears — and that status — plagued me well into high school, with residual sores leftover into young adulthood.  Oh, and I was really obnoxious.  I mean really.  You wouldn’t have wanted me in your youth group.  In fact, when I did visit the youth group at my church “welcome” is not an adjective I’d use to describe how I felt there.

But it wasn’t the end of the story. High school was better (plus I found Jesus!), and college was actually an incredible healing time for me as I made some great friends and shook off a lot of insecurities.  God was in the midst of that in a big way, rooting my identity in something beyond whether or not I made the “cut” back in middle school.

So believe me, I really do understand why so many people run when they see middle schoolers coming.  They are just too close of a flesh-and-bones awkward reminder that we were all early adolescents once, and for many of us it’s a time we’d just rather not relive.  It’s one of the reasons I’m trying to invest more in middle schoolers at my own church. And why I’m so thankful for all the youth workers we know and serve (like many of you) who care about middle school ministry!

©2009 Fuller Youth Institute

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  • http://www.youthspecialties.com marko

    thanks for the post, brad!

  • http://www.larsrood.com Lars Rood

    Brad- I was a middle school band geek who really struggled with identity both in school and at church. I too grew a ton in both HS and college. Looking forward to reading the book.

  • http://www.fulleryouthinstitute.org Brad Griffin

    oh yeah, i was totally a band geek. left out some of the gory details here. thanks lars.

  • http://www.youthspecialties.com marko

    lars, just because you’re not in band anymore doesn’t mean you’re no longer a geek. :)

  • http://www.currystew.org DC Curry

    Wasn’t necessarily a geek, but I was first chair alto sax in band, stud council president, and also an athlete.

    My insecurity came from realizing that I wasn’t a “geek” or “nerd” (whatever that meant when I was a middle schooler) and that i was accepted pretty easily by everyone.

    I wasn’t sure why people liked me, was it because I was a good person and they just liked me. Or did everyone like me JUST BECAUSE I was a good athlete, or because i was first chair, would they like me if i wasn’t…so on the flip side, those middle school “giants” have BIG TIME insecurities too, i’m living proof.

  • http://www.fulleryouthinstitute.org Brad Griffin

    Thanks, DC, for pointing out the other side. Sometimes we forget that the popular high-profile kids are just as (or sometimes even more) insecure than those on the lower rungs of the social ladder. And as adults, they NEED us to know that and care for them appropriately, or we become just another cog in the wheel of their pressure and isolation.

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