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I’m a hugger. I’m pretty sure I hugged people a lot in high school (as of this month, more than 15 years ago!). And college. And unless I’m remembering wrong, I’m pretty sure kids in youth ministry have been hugging each other as long as I’ve been doing this. In fact, most of us have probably lived through several phases of figuring out whether and how we should hug kids as adults – it’s a big deal to work that policy out in a lot of our churches. And certainly no joke, given the tragic reality of sexual abuse in ministry.
So I’ve been a bit mystified by the recent publicity about hugging in school. Casual, non-sexual (mostly) hugging. I’ve seen it in several news reports and commentaries over the past few weeks. And I have to ask, really? Hugging? We’re not freaking out culturally about the prevalence of oral sex or the rise of teen prostitution (more on that in another post), but hugging? More than one school has actually instituted a no-hug policy because apparently there’s widespread concern about kids hugging too much in the halls in between classes and being tardy to 2nd-period English. Call the President.
Perhaps there’s something to this, though. Maybe this new “hugging thing” could be kids’ intuitive response to an over-digitalized, text-centered way of relating to one another. Maybe hours online need to translate into more moments of human-to-human touch in (usually) safe expressions of contact. And maybe hugging in between classes is an intuitive response to the deep hurt kids feel in so many areas of their lives.
Or maybe it’s just a new kid fad. What do you think?
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June 8th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
When I studied in France 25 years ago, I remember being surprised about how much people hugged and kissed each other in friendship. Within about 5 years, I noted that Americans were doing it much more, and figured it was a good thing if we expressed ourselves in that way.
So my theory is that it’s the trickling-down of a trend that’s been happening for many years. I think it’s ludicrous of school administrators to stop these innocent displays of affection, and that doing so will only cause the students to think that their leaders don’t understand them.